I’ve been an author, a press secretary. Director and screenwriter. I’ve ran a congressional campaign. Advised politicians. Rubbed elbows with U.S. Representatives and U.S. Senators— and once told a Governor’s Top Aide to suck it.
Been Teacher of the Year! Made PBJs for Gary U.S. Bonds, sold Moet to Eric B and Rakim, and broke break with a Maharaja.
I’m one degree of separation from the last three presidents and two degrees from Sir Paul McCarthy.
I’ve even been in the presence of a Pope and a Saint.
But when I die, there’s only one thing for which I want to be remembered — being a loving husband and dad.
Happy Father’s Day to all you Dads who make a difference!
The other day I came home and learned from my mom that my seven-year-old misbehaved for most of the day.
By the time I arrived home from work, my wife had already disciplined him and served up a consequence for his behavior before darting off to work. So, instead of hearing what happened from my bride, I sat him down and asked my son what happened.
After hearing his confession, I asked him what consequence he received for his actions.
“Mommy said I can’t watch T.V. tonight,” he confessed.
“Wow, you must’ve been pretty bad,” I replied.
Yes, he nodded.
Later that night, we prepared and ate dinner. After we cleared off the table, I plopped down on the couch to relax and turned on the television, forgetting all about the incident. As his big bro and I were scrolling through the selections on Prime, I noticed my seven-year-old son was pacing in the hall.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, having forgot that he was punished.
“I’m not allowed to watch T.V.” he said with a sigh, “and I don’t know what else to do.”
“Go read a book,” I sternly added, pretending to have remembered.
“Okay,” he pouted and went off to his room.
With that, I kindly asked my mom if she would mind keeping him company. She quickly agreed to read with him, impressed that he first honestly confessed and then voluntarily forfeited television without having to be reminded. I was impressed, as well.
Later, when his mom arrived home from work, I called him out of his room and praised him in front of her, for accepting his consequences. I also came clean and told him that I had forgotten that he was punished, then boasted to my wife that her reminded me.
Together, we praised him. “You are definitely on the path of becoming a strong Christian man” I added with a sense of pride, then we sent him off to bed with hugs and kisses.
Full disclosure, as a father, I don’t know what I’m doing to bring about such an amazing behavior.
The only thing I may do differently than other dads is that I constantly remind my boys that it’s my job to make sure they grow up to be strong Christian men. I also share with them with my hope that on the day that I open my eyes in Heaven, I will find my entire family standing at my side — along with their families.
Maybe that’s the secret? Or maybe the secret is just having the love and support of a strong Christian woman as a wife?
Recently, I had a K.I.D.S. relapse while packing for a trip to our lake camp and went into a Daddy rage!
“I guess no one wants to help me!” I shouted in frustration packing the car without an assistance. “For the rest of the week, if anyone wants something from Dad, my answer will be ‘no!'”
Later that day, my five-year-old handed me a note.
“Can we not go to Stewart’s [for ice cream]?”
It reminded me of a classic line my step-dad used to say — and he had many.
“You know why donkeys don’t go to school?” he’d say. “Because nobody likes a smart ass.”
My kids are still young enough where they are assisted in honoring their mother and father by their primary school teacher.
Every year, I can expect something memorable.
One year, I received a card with the above photo of my oldest.
As you can see, he’s holding a chalkboard with a handwritten personal response to the statement “Dad I love you because…” On the slate, his preschool teacher wrote his reply…
You bring me to work.”
Until then, I wasn’t aware how much my boys enjoyed coming to work with me.
To this day, the card still hangs on the corner of the Smartboard in my classroom. However, that wasn’t the most eye-opening gift I received from my boys.
Recently, my son’s elementary school teacher handed out a list of biographical statements that her students had to complete about their dads.
Finally, my son was asked to write down, “Something your Dad often says:”He wrote,
Did I say ‘I love you’ today?
It’s true. I say it often. Actually, I say it more than often. I say it every day! What I didn’t realize was that my son was actually listening — and that it mattered, to him that I asked.
I grew up in an era where dads didn’t always say ‘I love you’. I had a great respect for my Dad and I knew he loved me — even though I didn’t hear him say it very often.
When he died, I wondered, in his last days, if he regretted holding back?
One day, I’ll get that answer and many more, but until then, I’m going to make sure that a day doesn’t go by where I don’t remind my kids — whether they had a good day, or not — that I love them!
And that means every day I’ll make sure I’m going to ask them, “Did I say ‘I love you’ today?”