My wife walked by me this morning with a gentle touch. I winked and batted my eyebrows .
“Maybe,” she amorously added with a smile, “but I have the Catholic Moms meeting tonight.”
“Tell them we’re in the NFP window,” I said joking half-heartedly. “If any group should know about the NFP window, it’s a group of Catholic moms.”
So, what is NFP?
It stands for “Natural Family Planning.” Some people falsely believe NFP is synonymous with the Rhythm Method; it is not!
Also known as the Fertility-Based Awareness Method,(FBAM or FAM); Natural Family Planning (NFP) is an effective and fulfilling method of avoiding pregnancy 1 that has developed significantly over the past 80 years.
It’s a way for women to take control of their fertility without using chemical hormones and invasive devices. Maybe that’s why it is sometimes called Green Sex.
Used most notably by practicing Catholics, FAMs have been catching on. There’s even a TED TALK about it. So, if it’s a “female thing” why am I talking about it?
Well, as a husband, I didn’t immediately jump on board with NFP. As a Catholic, I knew I had to avoid unnatural contraception methods. However, as a male, I shamefully pushed the responsibility of monitoring onto my wife.
It is her body after all; what do I really know about it.
However, as our marriage started to grow in Love and Respect, my understanding of NFP started to grow — as did my amazement for my wife’s fertility. The more awareness I had, the more love and respect I had for her and her body.
However, my true interest in NFP came from a peculiar source: Ricardo Montalbán. Star Trek‘s Khan. Fantasy Island‘s Mr. Rourke. Yes, THAT Ricardo Montalbán. (Or at least I think it was Ricardo Montalbán.)
At the time when I was struggling with NFP — (and you will struggle at first; everyone does) — I recall watching an interview where Ricardo Montalbán discussed his faith. He was a devout Catholic; a devoted husband, he mentioned how every month was like a “Honeymoon” for him and his wife because of NFP.
Now, I searched the internet trying to find this particular interview and I found many interviews where Mr. Montalbán discussed his Catholic Faith. However, I couldn’t find this particular NFP interview.
Of course, I began questioning whether it was actually Ricardo Montalbán? But the image was so strong. After discovering that he was happily married to the same woman for 63 years, I searched some more.
Sadly, I never found it. So, was it Ricardo Montalbán or someone else? I may never know. What I did find, however, was some articles on NFP’s “Honeymoon Effect”. Many of them were supportive, but not overwhelmingly positive. Here’s a good example.
Regardless of where I heard about the “Honeymoon Effect,” I’m writing to let you know that it exists.
The irony, however, is that the “Honeymoon Effect” happens over time. Unlike the blissful beginning of a marriage, the “Honeymoon Effect” comes years later — like when your youngest starts to consistently sleep through the night.
Gentlemen, there’s nothing like knowing your wife’s body biologically and spiritually. To know her cycle. To know when she is fertile. Getting to truly know how she was created! It adds wonderment and awe to your relationship.
Sure, as men, we are always prepared to have sex. So the natural rhythm of nature oftentimes alludes us. Natural Family Planning or Fertility-Based Awareness forces us to pay closer attention to our spouse and the nature of her needs.
These methods, not only, restore the natural bond between husband and wife. They remind us what Love truly is…
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres … Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4–8)
And if you are patient, kind; if you don’t boast or dishonor; and if you’re not self-seeking, you discover yourself in the middle of a great love story where you are continually in the recurring role of the bridegroom nervously, fondly, and passionately awaiting the arrival of your bride to the nuptial bed where you two truly get to know each other.
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James Henry is the author of Corporation YOU: A Business Plan for the Soul, and two children books: The Second Prince and Klaus: The Gift-giver to All. For six years, James taught At-Risk kids in Los Angeles. Today, he lives in New York where he continues to write — and teach. He has been happily married to his wife, Jen, for over 17 years. To contact James or book an interview, please contact Mark of Goldman & McCormick PR at (516) 639-0988 or Mark@goldmanmccormick.com.
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