Marriage is fragile — especially in today’s instant gratification world.
It seems that every month, or so, somebody my wife and I know is getting separated or divorced. It’s scarey. I know I don’t have a perfect marriage. If you follow this blog, I’ve written about it before. But, it’s pretty rock solid.
However, just like anything made out of rock, it takes work to keep it together.
Probably the best advice on marriage came from my best man. During the toast, he stunned the audience with this advice:
“Lie, Cheat, and Steal.”
At that point, those loudly celebrating our nuptials collectively went silent. To paraphrase a once popular television commercial, “You could hear a pin drop.”
My favorite photo in my wedding album was taken at that exact moment. It captured my thumb calmly gracing my wife on her back signaling my concern.
You see, the toastmaster and I were college roommates. So, he was my Best Man and I was his.
However, I was his Best Man first. Going first, in the Toast category, as I did, certainly had its disadvantages.
And though I was reserved in the Toast category, I didn’t hold back when it came to Wedding Day practical jokes. So, I prepared my bride-to-be about a possible wedding day retaliation.
Now, there I was, a sitting duck, with a big ole fake smile on my face, expecting the worst.
“However,” he continued. “If you’re going to lie, lie with each other a little bit longer each morning. If you’re going to cheat, cheat death. If you’re going to steal, steal more time with one another.”
Wow, I didn’t see that coming — nor did anyone who lifted a glass at the beginning of his toast.
It’s harder today to take his advice. My wife and I have a family now along with a little one who still likes to sneak into mommy and daddy’s bed in the wee hours of the morning and a dog that wants to start the day at 6 am sharp!
But on those rare occasions where there’s only two in our bed and the pup’s Circadian rhythm is off a beat or two, I recall those three simple words, and I lie closer to my bride; I thank the Lord for allowing me to cheat one more day on this Earth; I then steal a few extra minutes before heading off to work.
Since our wedding, similar toasts came out in movies, such as Hitch and Leap Year. Those versions may be more elegant or stylish. However, no one said it more clearly and bluntly than did my best man — 14 years ago today!
James Henry is the author of Corporation YOU: A Business Plan for the Soul, ‘Twas, and the new book series Hail Mary. For six years, James taught At-Risk kids in Los Angeles. Today, he lives in New York where he continues to write — and teach. To contact James or book an interview, please contact Mark of Goldman & McCormick PR at (516) 639-0988 or Mark@goldmanmccormick.com.
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